Constructive Criticism

Often we thought that by criticizing someone so openly, without any cushion to help the one on the receiving end to absorb the pang of heartache, that we are actually doing the person a good deed. We thought that it’s better to be truthful rather than doing it in a very subtle way, and the way we deliver it just doesn’t really weigh anything. To be frank, you are not doing anyone any good. If nothing else, you are actually chasing people away from you.

More often than not, we always pride ourselves for delivering whatever news, good or bad, to a person as truthfully and as straight forward as can be. But has it occur to you that if you were the one receiving it, how would you feel? What if someone were to criticize you so bluntly and in the open, how would you handle it?

I came across an article in the Women’s Weekly November 2011 issue about criticism. Right on time when I was desperate to look for something to heal my ‘wound’. Apparently there are two types. 1. Destructive Criticism and 2. Constructive Criticism. Let’s just highlight Constructive Criticism, as we in the subject of being positive.

There are 7 guides to make a criticism constructive:

1.       Start with something positive

Tell the person something good about their performance before you put in the ‘but’. It will help them accept your criticism and they will not feel like a failure.

2.       Use tact

Telling someone the truth doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful. Soften the criticism by saying something like, “It’s an easy mistake to make.”

3.       Focus on the behavior

Constructive criticism is about telling someone how he or she can do something better, not telling him or her they’re hopeless.

4.       Choose time and place

Never criticize in public, or when someone is too tired or upset to deal with it appropriately. Find a quiet place where you can discuss the issues and work on a plan to improve the situation.

5.       Give direction

If you criticize without offering an alternative suggestion, you make it difficult for the person to know how to change his behavior. For example, rather than saying, “I can’t stand your loud music,” you might try, “I find loud music disturbing. Could you turn it down, please.”

6.       Don’t harp

Nobody likes someone who points out every minor breach. Save the criticism for important issues.

7.       Try to end on a positive note

If you can, and if it’s appropriate, let them know how you feel about them.

It was a very good article and it really helped me to come to term with how I’ve been feeling this couple of days as it also discussed ways to handle criticism. Maybe I could write about that in my next post.